Cop: Have you been drinking?
Me: I been drankin'
Cop: Surfbort
Me: Surfbort

gotlostintheuniverse:

sasstrid-and-dorkcup:

theonewiththeknees:

wolf-brat:

OH MY GOD I FOUND A FUCKING CLUE

FUCKING HELL YEAH BITCH IT’S CLUE HUNTING TIME

TIME TO PULL OUT THAT MOTHERFUCKIN NOTEBOOK HELL YES

SIT DOWN IN MY FUCKING THINKING CHAIR AND FUCKING THINK, THINK, THIIIINK

the-pietriarchy:

I’m going to die alone and miserable but at least I’ll find peace knowing that I never thirsted over benedict cumberbatch

skellagirl:

If you think cats can’t love you as much as a dog then you’ve obviously never had one come lay beside you and purr while you’re in the middle of a crying fit

lcumo:

how’s the weather today? // 300moons

person: OMG YOU DIDN'T STUDY FOR THE TEST???!?!?!
me: nope
person: BUT HOW ARE YOU GONNA PASS???
me: i'm not

miss-military:

shroudedartist:

Makes me want to try and make a scalemate. </3

I NEVER NOTICED THE FLUFF FROM WHERE THEY DIED AND

danbutt:

neptunain:

there’s an incredibly homophobic and transphobic page on facebook called heterosexuals inspiring pride and they make awful clip art comics that literally make no sense and im laughing so hard

as a certified Gay i can confirm that all of these are 100% correct

thm